Children
HOW CHILDREN DISPLAY GRIEF AND BEREAVEMENT
Children are usually not be able to verbalize their grief as an adult would and their understanding of loss and grief are usually not as sophisticated. But this does not mean that children do not experience grief.
While children’s grief is fundamentally no different from adults’, what is different is the way children can regulate their emotions. When they have had enough, they have had enough. They can be in floods of tears and just switch off. For adults grief is like wading through an enormous river whereas for children it’s puddle jumping, but when they’re in that puddle it’s no different than being in the river.
Watching children’s actions can often reveal a great deal about their emotions. Some children may become destructive while others may become withdrawn. Changes in sleep patterns, eating habits or concentration/work habits can also be signs of grief. Grieving children may also be more emotional than usual, less emotional than usual, want to talk about the deceased, not want to talk about the deceased or continue on as if nothing has happened.
SYMPTOMS OF GRIEF IN CHILDREN
- Regression to behaviours associated with infancy
- Numbness or shock
- Whining, crying or clinging
- Reduced ability to concentrate
- Major changes in eating and/or sleeping patterns
- Rollercoaster ride of emotions – extreme highs and lows
- Hyperactivity and “acting out”, temper tantrums or aggression
- Poor school grades, disruptive behaviour in class
Although these symptoms may be troublesome, in short duration they are considered normal responses for grieving children. Symptoms that do not gradually improve or suicidal intention or fantasy that is more than fleeting may indicate the need for professional grief counselling.
GRIEF COUNSELLING FOR CHILDREN
There are so many possible ways that children can display responses to a loss that it can be confusing and troublesome for both children and the adults in their lives.
Many children find comfort and understanding following a loss by attending grief counselling sessions. Grief counselling can give children the chance to express their emotions in a safe environment outside of their home. Many children find it easier to open up in a “neutral” environment, or away from relatives if they believe that they might upset them by discussing their feelings.
Arlene is a trained, experienced grief counsellor who has worked with many bereaved children. Using a variety of activities and small ceremonies, Arlene can help children work through their grief. In addition, Arlene will be able to supply adults with further information and resources for helping their children.
